i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ttyl tear gas
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
