At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
