The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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