Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
