it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
