Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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