Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
