I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
