Where is the hickey?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
