They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
