she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
