im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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