Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
