A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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