It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Alive.
So much puke
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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