It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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