He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
