Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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