Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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