Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
