do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
