STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
