we have officially lost it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
