i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
