In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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