Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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