Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I forget how to act sober
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