absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
