with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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