u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Four minutes until I can fart!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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