South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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