i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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