I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
