Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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