I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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