you guys were way drunker than both of me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
