so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
