I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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