You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
