so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
