question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
