And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
