ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
