Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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