Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
