Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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