lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
