But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize