Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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