If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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