apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
