me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
