You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I am one with the molecules
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
