4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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