somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
