So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
