i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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