brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
