what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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