yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize