why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
