am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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