those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize