I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Shame - the story of my life.
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