do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
