Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
