Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
