Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
