I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
