I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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