I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
