READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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